Values, whether conscious or not, guide our decision-making.

The things that you value are a reflection of your lifestyle, professional career, and personal life, and vice versa. Knowing your values allows you to set clear boundaries. Know what you stand for and what you will tolerate. 

But where do our values come from? And how can knowing about values help us? Read on... 

Where Do Values Come From?

The first question may be: Where do our values come from?

Ideally, you can look at your family upbringing to better understand the story of your personal values. Everyone is brought up in different environments, cultures, or situations. So, it would be impossible for every person to have the exact same values since it would depend on their circumstances. Yet, we all share many values in common.

Knowing Your Values Can Help You Set Clear Boundaries

Once you are clear about your values you will have a secure place from which to operate. If you’re unable to say no to others or want to please everyone, then you may not be clear on your values. Take a step back and work out your values first. 

Trying to please people would ultimately mean you’ll put their needs above yours.

You would take on projects that aren’t yours or have to abide by policies that aren’t favorable to your teammates or yourself. In other words, you won’t be able to take a stand since you are not acting in integrity with your values. 

How Can You Set and Maintain Good Boundaries? 

There are a few things that you can try out to help you set and maintain good boundaries. This will give you a clear idea of what you stand for in a few instances throughout your career. 

• Begin with only a few - If you don’t have any set of boundaries, then start with a few. Don’t overwhelm yourself by writing a long list of wills and won'ts, do's and don'ts. 
• Consistency is the key - There might be changes in your beliefs over time, and your values may evolve. Despite this, remain consistent in the boundaries you establish until you are clear that your values have shifted. 
• Communicate with others - If you don't tell others about your set of boundaries, they might continue crossing them. So, you should communicate and be vocal about your boundaries with others so they don’t cross the limits.
• Stand up for your values - Lastly, setting boundaries based on your values and not standing up for them is futile. Whether it is an idea, a teammate, a customer, or a peer, be prepared to make hard decisions that are values-based.

Final Words

Knowing yourself through the lens of your personal core values is essential.

"Know thy self"

And, living with boundaries are a form of self-care. 

You might think that others perceive your boundaries as unfriendly.

However, the Inside Mental Health podcast from Psych Central shows that you can maintain a clear set of boundaries without upsetting others.